What Might Have Been
A/N: This story is a one shot. It takes place in Rhodes during “All Together Dead” when Sookie and Eric are in his room discussing what she and Barry found out about the assassin. The story picks up when Bill knocks on the door to Eric’s room.
“What Might Have Been”
“Eric . . .”
I was interrupted by a knock on the door before I could start the conversation I felt I needed to have. I was tired of walking on a wire and holding everything inside. He could feel all the emotions I had anyway so I might as well get the words off my chest to try to find some closure.
He didn’t make a move to answer the door so I took it upon myself to answer. Unsurprisingly, it was Bill. I’d bet my next paycheck that he heard me in Eric’s room and rushed to interrupt so that “nothing happened.”
I just looked at him as he ran his eyes over my clothes. I’m sure he was also sniffing the air to see if I smelled of sex. I just rolled my eyes at him. I still couldn’t stand to be around him.
“Sookie.” He said with a nod and I’m sure he expected me to let him into the room but I didn’t move.
“Bill.” I replied but I still didn’t move.
He looked confused before he said, “I need to speak to Eric.”
“Really?” I challenged.
“Yes.” He said tersely.
“Is it an emergency?”
“What?” he asked surprised.
“Is it an emergency?” I said slowly. “You know, like the Queen sent you, or our lives are in danger.”
“No, but . . . “ he started but I interrupted.
“Then he’ll find you later as he is otherwise occupied.” And I closed the door and locked it.
I turned around to walk back over to where Eric was still sitting. I could feel confusion and pride through our new bond but his face was full of lust.
“Don’t get the wrong idea.” I chastised. “But you and I need to settle a few things as I’m tired of this game. It’s exhausting and it hurts.”
If I’d told Eric that I was pregnant with his vamp-baby, I don’t think he could have looked more surprised.
“You, Sookie Stackhouse, want to settle things with me?” His tone was filled with disbelief.
I resumed my seat on the bed across from him and we both continued to stare at each other. I think his stare was betraying a hint of amusement and excitement whereas my stare was all about determination.
I was bound and determined to pull the damn band-aid off and do it quickly. I needed to expose the wound so it could heal. It had to be done.
“Are you willing to have this conversation?” I finally asked him after several moments of silence.
“Perhaps you should provide the rules and intended topics.”
He was being an ass.
“Fine.” I said. “Here are my rules. We take turns asking each other our questions. Anything directly or indirectly affecting either of us can be discussed. All answers must be honest but there’s no need to be purposefully insulting or hurtful. If there is a confidential matter we can not reveal, then we will just acknowledge its there but we can’t provide more details. We both acknowledge that we are going to hear things we are not going to like, but we will both attempt not to lose our temper.”
“Agreed.” Eric said evenly before he grinned mischievously. “Now, my rules.”
I swallowed impulsively before I nodded.
“No running. You stay until we are both done talking.”
I nodded my agreement.
Eric lounged back on his bed as he motioned with one hand, “Then, begin Ms. Stackhouse.”
“What do you want from me?” I asked bluntly.
“I want you to be mine.” His answer may as well have included an eye roll. He was sure this was an obvious answer.
“I know that Eric, but why?” I asked with my hand on my hip.
“Ah-Ah” Eric shook is finger at me. “It’s my turn to ask a question.”
I huffed as I sat down on the bed opposite of Eric’s and motioned for him to continue.
“Why the Tiger?”
I glared at him for asking that question first, but I would follow my own rules and answer.
“I was lonely and trying to move on.” I shrugged as if I hadn’t said anything important.
“From me?” Eric pushed.
“It’s my turn.” I said purposefully ignoring the implications of his question before taking my turn. “Why do you want me to be yours?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“You can’t answer a question with a question.” I protested.
“That wasn’t in the rules.” Eric grinned.
“Eric!” I think I actually stomped my foot. “Answer the damn question or I’m leaving.”
“You already agreed not to leave until we’re done.”
“And you agreed to answer my questions not avoid them.”
“Indeed.” Eric said thoughtfully. “You challenge me when no one else will. You’re brave, loyal, and smart. You are beautiful and I want to fuck you.”
I’m sure my jaw was on the floor. Some of his words were echoes of the words he had spoken to me when he was under the witch’s curse.
Hearing them again stunned me for a moment so I answered his next question without any forethought.
“Why did it take so long for you to tell me what happened when I was cursed?”
Still lost in my own thoughts and memories, I answered. “I had already lost enough, and I knew you wouldn’t like what you would hear. It was easier for me to let go and pretend it never happened than to relive it.”
The silence that followed my thoughtless answer made me realize what I had just said. I blushed furiously and looked anywhere but at Eric as I asked, “Why did you save me from being bonded to Andre?”
“I didn’t want you to be bonded to anyone other than me.”
“But you don’t even remember anything about us.” I protested with a part whine.
“Don’t I?” Eric cocked his eyebrow up. “I remember seeing your bravery, loyalty, and strength in Jackson. I remember feeling your body against mine as well.”
Eric leaned forward and looked in my eyes. “I don’t need those forgotten memories from a few short nights with you to know that I want you to be mine, Sookie Stackhouse.”
The tension in the air was palpable and I needed to break the eye contact we had and change the subject – quickly.
“Ah.” I cleared my throat. “Whose turn is it?”
Eric didn’t take his eyes off of me and he purred. “It’s mine.”
“Well, okay then.” I said as I waited.
After a few more moments passed in which I tried not to fidget, Eric asked the million-dollar question.
“Why is it, Ms. Stackhouse, you refuse to yield to me when we both know it’s exactly what you want to do?”
I looked away.
I wanted to walk away from the room, go down the elevator, and out of the front doors of the lobby.
Eric was wrong in Jackson when he said I always ran when things got difficult in my relationship. I’d had plenty of arguments with Bill in the past in which I didn’t run away.
I only ran away when I knew I’d get hurt.
And that was the answer Eric was looking for. The reason I wouldn’t yield to him no matter how much I wanted to do so.
Amnesia Eric was caring and reassuring. I felt safe with him and I could open myself up to him.
Sheriff Eric had walls erected around him that made it impossible to know what he was thinking. He protected himself and his retinue.
He didn’t fall in love with humans.
“You hate having feelings.” I said suddenly without thinking it through.
I looked him steadily in the eyes and laid it all on the line. “I don’t have sex without feelings and you hate having feelings. Why would I set myself up to have feelings for you when I know you won’t have them in return?”
“You’ve already had sex with me.”
Seriously, that was his response!
“What’s your point?” I practically spit out.
“You don’t have sex without feelings and yet you’ve had sex with me.”
“And you just admitted you had feelings for me.”
“You’ve known that since we completed this bond thingy last night.”
“Yes, but you admitted it.”
“Yes.” I answered bitterly before promptly moving on. “It’s my turn to ask a question.”
He only nodded in response and I could feel determination building in him so I blurted out my question before he could do whatever he was deciding to do.
“Do you want to hurt me?” I asked.
“If I wanted to hurt you I could have done so a million times.” He snapped.
“There are other ways to hurt someone besides the physical, Eric.” I said in a resigned voice.
“I have no desire to hurt you in anyway.” He answered coolly.
“Then stop.” I said with more strength than I felt. “Stop pursuing me because eventually I will give in. I don’t need more pain in my life, Eric.”
“This is what you want.” He asked. “You want me to walk away from you?”
“That’s what I said.”
“But it’s not what you feel.” He challenged.
“It doesn’t matter.” I answered as I stood up.
“Where do you think you are going?” He stood up with me to block my retreat. “You agreed to stay until we were finished.”
“We are finished.”
“No we are not.”
“Do you have any more questions?”
“No, but I do have more to say.” Again I felt determination bubbling up inside him.
“What is it, Eric?” I asked in an exacerbated tone.
In a flash he was standing closer to me with his lips at my ear and one hand tangled in my hair. “I may hate having feelings, dear Ms. Stackhouse.” He spoke while lightly pressing his lips behind my ear, “but it doesn’t mean that I don’t have them.”
I couldn’t suppress the moan that escaped my lips as he peppered kisses down my neck to my exposed collarbone. As he worked his path back up towards my lips, he whispered as softly as possible, “And I have more feelings for you than I care to admit.”
When our lips met I felt myself go weak in the knees and only his arm, which had snaked around my back, kept me from falling to the ground. He kissed me eagerly and with purpose while I returned the kiss with just as much feeling and passion. When he eventually pulled away, I gasped in a breath and rested my forehead on his chest.
I wanted this so badly, but . . .
Before I could continue the thought, his hand was pulling my chin up and he was looking me deep in the eyes. “I want you. All of you. Stop running.”
“I . . .” My heart was beating so fast and my walls were crumbling faster the longer I looked at him, but I couldn’t find any words.
His lips ghosted over mine. “Stay with me”
I held my breath and closed my eyes before I breathed against his lips a simple. “Yes.”
His mouth was on me then and he was everywhere. His hands traveled from my hair to my hips while his lips and tongue continued to explore my mouth. His hands eventually lifted me up and my legs immediately found their home around his back. He lowered me to the bed and his weight was a delicious pressure that I had missed so badly.
He kissed his path down to my neckline and he tore my shirt open along with my bra in order to explore my breasts.
“You are magnificent.” He mumbled as he took my nipple in his mouth and ran his fang lightly over the skin. I shuddered and arched my back to try to get closer to him and feel more of his body against mine.
Feeling only the fabric of his shirt, I realized that he was still wearing his clothes and I reached up to pull his shirt over his head. Unhappy that my plan would result in him detaching himself from his new favorite place, Eric tore off the shirt without losing contact with my chest, and I groaned at his display of strength.
Running my hands up over his back and blissfully enjoying the feel of my lover’s touch again, I couldn’t help but plead with a whispered, “Please.”
“What do you need, Lover?” He asked huskily as he trailed kisses from my breasts to my bellybutton.
“More.” I panted. “I need more.”
He growled as he continued his warpath and tore off the jeans and underwear I had been wearing. When I was completely naked in front of him he looked up at me with more lust and emotion in his eyes than I had ever seen as he declared me “beautiful.”
When his mouth finally reached the spot where I needed him most, I screamed out in ecstasy. I knew I wouldn’t last long but I didn’t care. I was with Eric and I knew from experience there would be many more peaks to follow before our night would be over.
He proved me right as his tongue explored me, and I felt myself losing control as I shouted out his name, and released with him moaning my name. Before I could blink, Eric had divested himself of the rest of his clothing and he was waiting at my entrance.
I wrapped my legs around him and welcomed him home as he pushed into me slowly.
“This is good. This is right.” He moaned as he pulled back and pushed into me again. “You are perfect.”
I pulled his hair to bring his mouth crashing down on mine before I pushed his shoulder slightly to get him to turn us over. I wanted to be on top so I could feel him deeper inside me. I felt like I needed to have him as close to me as I could, and never let go.
He obliged me and seemed delighted at the change in position, as he ran his hands over my breasts, and lightly set our rhythm with his motions. I didn’t mind as I felt lost to the world and all I knew was the Viking vampire lying beneath me.
I was getting close to my second explosion of the night when Eric reached down and started rubbing circles near my entrance. I lost all control as I screamed through my release and yelled his name.
Having spent some of my energy, Eric rolled us back over and slowed our tempo as he brought one of my legs up to his hip and his lips caressed my neck. I turned my head to offer myself to him, and he sped up his pace as he approached his climax and again latched onto my nipple. I felt myself building once more, and the moment his fangs entered my breast we both moaned as we climaxed together.
Eric rolled off of me and pulled me into his arms as we both came down from our high. My breath was just starting to even out when he whispered, “Not love exactly.”
My body immediately froze with his words and I was suddenly back in a different bed, at a different time, with a different Eric.
I relaxed my body back into his as I accepted this new turn of events and I replied back as I had then, “No, but something close.”
We laid in silence for a few more moments before I folded my hands on his chest and rested my chin on top of them so I could look up at his face. “Do you have any questions?”
He smirked down at me. “Care to relive our shower together?”
I couldn’t help but smile back at him. “I’d love to.”